Daniel Fast…

21 Jan

Today is day 21 of a 21 day Daniel Fast. I began at lunch on the 31st of December, so today at lunch ended the fast. My friend from work decided to do the fast with me. Today for lunch, we had grilled Chicken wraps from Sonic and took food up to her daughter’s school to eat lunch with her. In all honesty, I didn’t enjoy the food and I don’t like the way I feel right now. I don’t think I ate too much, but it’s just so heavy in my stomach.

During this 21 days of fasting, I learned that I have a habit of sabotaging myself from being healthy and regularly try to justify poor choices. Overall, I did well with the fast in terms of food. There were many times that I had to talk myself out of making exceptions. I learned that temptations to indulge the flesh will always exist and that when I am faced with temptation to feed the flesh and not the spirit, I need to stop and think and pray.

I also recognized that I really struggle with meaningful prayer. I desire to have a feeling of joy and excitement for prayer, but I just don’t. I find that I am best able to express my heart’s prayer through writing. When I open my mouth for prayer, it just sounds so fake to me, even when I truly mean the words I say.

My prayer for this next phase is to learn to honor God with my body and how I care for it and to spend more time in prayer through writing to God. I want my life to be a reflection of my passion for God. Another area that I want to improve is the use of cuss words. Granted, I have improved greatly from where I used to be, but I see that I fall back into that too easily. There are certain groups of people or certain situations where I automatically freely cuss… like that is the only way they can relate to me. When I get really angry and overwhelmed, I always toss in a few f-bombs to be sure those I am angry with KNOW that I am angry.

I am not beating myself up, but I accept that I am broken and need my Father to heal the damaged places. I am so grateful for what He has done in my life. Those that knew me before, know the changes that  have occurred in my life. It is only by His grace that I am who I am today.

If you spend time around me and see me fall into overindulgence and cussing, please love me enough to hold me accountable for that. I want my life to reflect the love and mercy of God, not the sin and corruption that I am trying to be free of.

God is Good!

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